just breathe...
self-aggrandizing personified, by a southern belle
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Two Birds with One Stone
I have found a way to express my opinion of the ongoing mess in the middle east, as well as my opinion of some of the people I have encountered through blogging.
Incidently, for anyone who finds this offensive, see above for the ass you can kiss. I've had it with being Ms Nice.
Monday, March 29, 2004
New Blog of Honor
I am adding a new Blog of Honor. I hope all (well at least some) of you checked out Margaret Cho's Blog.
If your a die hard Republican, you will be interested to know that Idel Hands Mag.com is written by a life long Republican.
ps: Question # 9 nearly broke my heart, because it hits very very close to home for me. Closer than you can imagine.
Is it Monday Yet
You Really Had to Be There!
This has been an exhausting weekend. It started early. Normally that would be a good thing, and I suppose it was in some ways. There has been so much going on, I hardly know where to begin.
First of all I have been worried sick how Amanda (Zach's Mom) was going to react when she found out that Daniel had breezed in for a few days and was spending time with Zach without her knowing about it. It was a surprise when he showed up Wednesday night, but I knew how she felt and I didn't call her and let her know he was here. She has every right to be angry with me for not calling her. After all she is the one who has to pick up the pieces and go on when he (Daniel) goes back to Texas and Zach doesn't see or hear from him for God knows how long. I was wrong, and I knew it.
That made it difficult for me to relax and enjoy Daniel's visit. Things were tense to say the least. My instincts and my gut told me I should at least let Zach's Mother know, but everyone else said NO. So I gave into the pressure (and we wonder why kids give into the pressure to do drugs!)
When I took him home tonight I sat down and told her. I was prepared for the worst. She just got this kind of sad look on her face and didn't say too much at first. Then she said she wasn't mad at me, and that she didn't mind Zach seeing his Dad. Her only concern is how he is going to feel now that his Dad is gone. It's been very hard on him and she just didn't want him to suffer those let down feelings all over again. Her reaction ended up making me feel even worse. I think I'd have rather she screamed and yelled at me.
Now we deal with the aftermath.
After the long drive over there and back to take him home, I am just worn out. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. I need about 14 hours of undesturbed sleep.
On the positive side, it was wonderful to see my oldest son. He looked really good and he seemed to be in good spirits.
Of course it was worth it all to see the look on Zach's face when he walked into the house and saw his Daddy.
You really had to be there!
Saturday, March 27, 2004
My Inner Dragon
You are a silver dragon. The rarest kind of dragon.
YOu are noble yet avoid humans as much as
possible. You are the guardian of the
defensless and you rule the skies.
Which Dragon resides in your soul? (cool pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, March 26, 2004
Changes
If you would like to change your blog template but are afraid to go messing around with something your not familiar with, I have a link for you that might be just what your looking for.
Blogger Templates is a really nice site. It offers some basic templates and even has a tutorial to help you learn how to change your templates. Be sure to check out the full range of templates. The ones on the main page are not the only ones they have. You might be surprised what you can do!
ps: There's a new Blog of Honor , be sure to check her out.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I Just Can't Help Myself
I know, I know, I'm not suppose to...
But I just can't help it, this is tooooo funny!
Wanna see some more?
Check out The Gotham City 13. Scroll all the way down to see the entire White House Kool-Aid Collection.
How Do You Like Me Now
All that blue was making me blue. Thought I'd spice things up a bit. What'd ya think?
Now for a couple of questions. People keep commenting about a scrolling clock. I don't see any clock. What's up with that? Also, there seems to be two backgrounds here, one on top of the other. Can anyone explain that to me?
ps: The 'visit' is going smoothly so far. It's very emotional for me, everyone else is soaring right along, enjoying their time together.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Oh What A Day
I'm tired. I cleaned house all morning. Then drove 100 miles round trip to pick up Zach for the weekend. He's out for Spring Break this week and will be staying with us till Sunday. I came home tonight and got the shock of my life. My oldest son (Zach's Daddy), whom I haven't seen in almost 2 years was sitting in my living room. There was so much emotion in that room it just wore me out. They have all gone out for a late night supper so I am doing a little reading then I am off to bed.
Mary Lou , here's a little something for you. DOJ Asked FBI Translator To Change Pre 9-11 Intercepts
By the way, did you guys notice the new Blog of Honor? I figured Big Dick would have a ball with that one.
Inside the Book
Phyllis posted this unbelievably beautiful poem today and it brought to mind something that I had written several years ago.
Our family was going through a particularly difficult time. I was suffering from a pretty deep depression and as a result had gained quite a bit of weight. I was sad, miserable and fat (as opposed to now, when I'm phat & sassy).
On this particular day there had been an unpleasent incident at the store and I was really feeling low. I sat down at my computer and was just crying. Why, can't people see that what a person is, is so much more than just the way they look? Why are looks so important?
At any rate , as I sat there I wrote this. I had forgotten about it until I read the poem over at Phyllis's. Even now it's difficult for me when I remember how a few careless words had made me feel that day.
To Whom It May Concern
I know what I am
I know who I am
It may appear that I do not
Or that I do not care
But I know
I am aware
There is so much more to me
Than just the body that you see
Ahhh you sneer how can that be
There is so much of you to see
But, all you see is the outside me
I am me
Sometimes funny, sometimes sad
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
Just me, that's all I want to be
Don't judge me by what you see
That is not the best part of me
If you stop and take a second look
You will find this can be a very interesting book
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Monday, March 22, 2004
Brand new Blog
Okay folks, Tx Oceanlover has a brand new home. So new even he doesn't know about it yet. Since it looks like Upsaid is going to be down for a while, I scouted out a location, found just the right spot, and got him set up. I sure hope he likes it. Ya'll pop over and pay him a visit and welcome him to Blogger.
Tx's new home is HERE .
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Sunday Confessions
Things I am embarrassed to admit , I did not know...
1. The words, "under God," did not appear in the Pledge of Allegiance until 1954 and "In God We Trust" was absent from paper currency before 1956. They were both added by Congress during the McCarthy age in an attempt to express our moral superiority over the atheist Soviet Union at the height of the Cold War.
2. In 1797 America made a treaty with Tripoli, declaring that "the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." This reassurance to Islam was written under George Washington's presidency, and approved by the Senate under John Adams.
3. The U.S. Constitution is a secular document. It begins, "We the people," and contains no mention of "God" or "Christianity." Its only references to religion are exclusionary, such as, "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust" (Art. VI), and "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" (First Amendment). The presidential oath of office, the only oath detailed in the Constitution, does not contain the phrase "so help me God" or any requirement to swear on a bible (Art. II, Sec. 1, Clause 8).
4. All SIX of the first six presidents were Deists, not Christians. George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe and John Q. Adams Jr. were all Deists, as were later Presidents John Tyler, Millard Filmore, Abraham Lincoln and William Taft. Other non-Presidential revolutionary figures who happened to be Deist were Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, Ethan Allen and two other framers of the Constitution, Hugh Williamson and James Wilson.
I think maybe I need to go back and take American History 101 all over again. I clearly was not paying attention all the time. I know this really disturbs me.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
He's Just A Kid !!!
There's a new kid in town. Literally!! He's only 16 and he's the new Blog Of Honor . You may not agree with his politics but you cannot help but be impressed with his grasp of reality, his intelligence and his passion for what he believes. You really have to check this young man out!!
Blue on Blue
Just thought I'd try some blue. I'm not sure if I like it or not.
Is anyone besides me having a problem getting into Upsaid journals? I miss my tattered cloth and my favorite Texan.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Dear Diary
Is this really me?
You are a moon shadow. With the moon as your source
you are a being of great mystery. Constantly
drifting, you descend into darkness to conceal
your brokenness. You have come to believe that
you are the only one you can rely upon for
the constancy and safety that you need. But those
who know how to see you, find enchanting beauty
in your wistfulness and fragility. It is to
them that you should flee, for their arms are
an open haven where your true light can finally
thrive..(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)
What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
I am honored!!!
Found this quiz over at my buddy Houston's .
You're Canada!
People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've
got a much better life than they do. In fact, they're probably just jealous.
You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not
dying in the streets, and your always trying to secure these rights for yourself and
others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be
the perfect person.
Take
the Country Quiz.
Well, since I don't have a weird affection for ice hockey, I guess that means I am PERFECT !!!
I loveeeeee being Canada.
Ya Reckon?
Found this little quizzie over at Mary Lou's .
Which Founding Father Are You?
Hee hee, ya think that sounds like me?
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Coming Attractions
The coming attractions I promised have arrived. The ones on the left are primarily for TxOceanlovers benefit. I know he will be torn. While he may love the underwear, he may not be able to get past the message they bear.
The other is on the lower right side, and is something new I am trying out. I am going to occasionally have a Blog of Honor. I'm going to use this short story to explain why.
"You are Wonderful"
The following true story captured my heart. It happened several years ago in the Paris opera house. A famous singer had been contracted to sing, and ticket sales were booming. In fact, the night of the concert found the house packed and every ticket sold. The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom you've all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment." The crowd groaned in disappointment and failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in's name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration.
The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished, there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, "Daddy, I think you are wonderful!" The crowd broke into thunderous applause.
We all need people in our Lives who are willing to stand up once in a while and say, "I think you are wonderful" , or "I think you did a great job".
So, I am going to do just that with my Blog of Honor.
The honor of being first goes to Amy at
Blog Amy. Her entry titled It's Personal: An Ongoing Series encompasses many of my personal and political beliefs.
I don't know how often I will update this, but keep checking ever so often, you never know YOU might be next.
Monday, March 15, 2004
It's A Small World
I had a post all planned out for today. Then I went to visit with KB over at KB's World . As I read a feeling of deja vu began to creep up on me. Have you ever been in a meeting, or a therapy session where you were listening to someone else talk and you slowly began to realize this person really does know what you've been going through? That's how it felt.
Those who have been reading my blog for a while know about the problems I have with my daughter. I haven't mentioned this lately because frankly I grew weary of talking about it. I know I'm crazy for letting this adult child dominate and disrupt my life the way she does. I know that I am the only one who can make this stop. But seriously, I can't. I know what I should do, I just can't. I know KB understands. If there ever were such a thing as being between a rock and a hard place , that's where I live. Now, I know I have neighbors.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Is this really Me?
I suppose it could be.
I know we're not suppose to talk about it, but I'm feeling kinda loose and funky tonight anyway, so to heck with being proper.
Back in my college days, my idea of the perfect weekend was one that involved large quanities of smoke (grass/mary jane/weed/ect), and food. I loved to get blitzed and listen to Pink Floyd , Black Sabbith, or Deep Purple. I can remember being driven out at 2/3 o'clock in the morning to the nearest 7/11 (those were the ONLY convienence stores back then) by a serious attack of the munchies . Twinkies and chocolate milk were heavenly delights. Of course no self-respecting stoner ever turned down a cheeseburger & fries. When one is in the throes of stoner munchies, one is not picky. Well this one wasn't.
One summer I lived in the house with a guy (not with him just in the house with him) who was tight with Jim Croche. Jim came to visit while I was there, and introduced me to a totally different kind of music. I can remember the first time I heard Operator. His voice was so perfect. I sat and listened to him all night. To this day when I hear that song, I get chills. I still love his music. Of course I still love Pink Floyd and Deep Purple too.
I used to look at myself and wonder what the heck happened to that girl with the long blond hair and hot body. But then I watched an episode of The Osbornes and got a good look at Ozzy and I realized, I ain't by myself in the what the hell happened catagory. He's got Kelly and Jack, I've got Kasey and Robby. I guess we both got what we deserved. He just got more of it!
Those were some good ole days and nights.
They say your only young once.
I say if you do it right, once is enough.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
Time for a Change...
I'm having problems with my Internet Explorer browser so I had to switch over to Mozilla. It's not too bad. I guess I will stick with it until I can afford to take the ole puter to the puter doctor. My old template just wouldn't work with Mozilla so I thought 'what the heck, it's time for a change anyway...'. I wouldn't mind a long walk on the beach about right now anyway. How bout YOU?
Thursday, March 11, 2004
My Humble Opinion
Gov. Bob Riley of Alabama announced today that the issue of Gay Marriage will be placed on the Alabama state ballot in this years election. He thinks the people of the great state of Alabama should have their say on whether or not Gay Marriage will be legal in Alabama. I'm no fan of Riley's but at least he is leaving it up to the people to decide. Of course that could be because he has no doubt as to what the majority of Alabamians will say. I sure don't.
Alabama has made it into the 20th Century (yes I mean 20th ). Still this is a state populated by a lot of rednecks. People who use their religion as a sheild against modern day society.
What I don't quite understand is , if we are going to use the Bible as a guide line for deciding what constitutes a marriage, what do we do about the following ...
A. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Genesis 29:17-28; II Samuel 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Samuel 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Genesis 24:3; Numbers 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, no law shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If that brother refuses to marry the widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Genesis 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
(thanks to Jaye for these Bible refrences)
Now according to these Biblical guide lines, half the people in this country are breaking the law in regards to marriage. I guess the people who insist that the Bible alone stipulates what marriage is, are going to pick and choose which Biblical laws they will use to decide this issue. Am I the only one who thinks there's something wrong with this picture?
When did we decide that a man could no longer have more than one wife? Was it when society decided that it was not appropriate? When was it accepted that a woman did not have to be a virgin when she married? Could it be that society recognized this was a personal decision and not one to be decided by the government? At what point did the Church, the government , and the people decide that believers and non-believers could marry? That people of different races could marry? Was it about the time that society realized that whom one married was a personal choice/decision and not one to be decided by the government? The laws governing us must be flexible. As society grows and changes so must the law. The first step would be to remove the government from any decision regarding who can marry whom.
It's called the right to life, liberty and the persuit of happiness.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Today's Unconscious Mutterings
Via my gal pal "zero".
1. Dogma:: Strongly held beliefs
2. Spirit:: Ghost
3. Voodoo:: Black Magic
4. Demon:: Charmed (there's a demon in every episode)
5. Digital:: Camera
6. Ceremony:: Wedding
7. Research:: Stem Cell
8. Career:: Lawyer
9. Penis:: Yummy
10. Film:: Movies
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Another one of those silly quizzes
Found this at Brenda's , who got it from Special K.
Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Whoooo hooo I am Master of the Universe! I knew I was being underappreciated!!!
Monday, March 08, 2004
Prayer Request
I know that most of the people who visit my blog also visit Brenda's , and are already aware of the accident her daughter and grandchildren were in over the weekend. I am sure that your prayers are already winging their way to God's ear.
I just want to make a request to anyone who visits me. Please take the time to say a prayer for Brenda and her family.
Please say a special prayer for MariKate. Not just today, but everyday as she begins her long road to recovery.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Sunday Morning Coming Down
Do you remember that song by Johnny Cash? I was never a big fan of Johnny's. He had some great hits, very few of them ever appealed to me, but I really liked that one. Can't say why. Maybe it's simply because it's a good song.
Whatever the reason, I often think of it on these Sunday mornings when I sit in front of my computer blogging. I should be in church. I know I should. I can't tell you the last time I was inside a church. I stopped going years ago. It isn't because I've lost my faith in God. My faith is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger than it has been at times in the past. It's not that I've lost my faith in people. In fact in the past year I have come to realize that there are many good, kind , decent people out there.
I am not really sure why I don't 'attend' church. Maybe it has something to do with my experiences within the church it's self. As a child and later a teenager, I attended church twice a day on Sunday, then on Wednesday night for prayer meetings. This was my Mother's rule and one did not question Mother's rules. So I went. My girlfriends and I would sit way in the back , whisper and pass notes, but we were there.
I really should start going again. I know I should. I have much to be thankful for. Having been very close to the bottom rung in life, I know I should be on my knees thanking God for giving us the strenght to find our way back up. My faith has been sorely tested over the years. I've seen times when I was ready to curse God and man. There have been times when I've wondered what was the point? I've drug myself up off the ground, only to be slapped right back down, more than once. Yet somehow I always find the strenght to begin the climb back up again. The Serenity Prayer has gotten me through some very very dark hours. The hardest part is knowing that there are some things I simply cannot change, and then finding a way to live with that. Living life to it's fullest is not always about making changes. Sometimes it's about accepting things for what they are and making the best of it. I have found peace of mind in knowing that no matter what life brings my way, I will survive. What I cannot change I can learn to live with. Now I just need to work on that whole 'wisdom to know the difference ' thing.
Ya'll have a great Sunday!
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Isn't It Lovely
Don't you just love my new background? I found this over at Stock Stash. If you are looking for some beautiful pictures, this is a site you want to check out.
Friday, March 05, 2004
TGIF
Yesterday was an exhausting day. I spent the day insurance shopping. We have been paying way too much for car insurance. It is/was killing us. Insurance on an SUV, when you have a 20 year old male living in your house is abominable. I just knew there had to be somebody who could get it under $200 a month! So, off I went. Yes I could have done it over the phone, but most of them want to 'see the vehicle', so it just seemed easier to go in person. I am happy to report, my quest was successful. I have some great news...I'm saving a bundle on my car insurance. No, it isn't with GEICO, or Progressive, or State Farm, or even Allstate. But heck, I am saving almost $70 a month! I can live with Firemans.
Now, excuse me, I have 70 bucks and Mama needs a new pair of shoes.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Monday Madness
I already know it's a few days late. Blame otto , it's all her fault.
How many hours a week do you spend doing the following things?
1. Watching television: Around 18 give or take an hour.
2. Sitting at the computer: An embarrassing 20-25.
3. Reading a book: Depends...6-8.
4. House work: 10-12
5. Cooking: 15-17
6. Eating: Just eating...5-6. Thinking about eating.... hmmm I think I'll keep that little bit of info to myself.
7. Driving: I love to drive and try to get out 3 or 4 times a week, just for a drive, so around 8-10 hours.
8. Working outside of your home: 0
9. Blogging: Since I have two blogs, I probably spend a bit more than the average blogger....maybe 7-10, just depends on how much I have to say. This does not include blog surfing.
10. Sleeping: 30-35
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
I'm Not Surprised
Check out my Morality! 61% liberal, 39% conservative
You tend to hold progressive/liberal values, but are more traditional on some aspects.(True)
When it comes to social morals, you feel that society's current laws need to be more flexible in some areas.(True)
You believe that the government's current positions are generally acceptable, but you would prefer it to change several of its policies and practices. (NOT)
Wanna know more about me?
What? Did you say no?
Well too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway!
I'm a O4-C6-E27-A3-N60 Big Five!!
I prefer traditional and familiar experiences. (yep)
I probably have a messy desk! (true)
I tend to shy away from social situations. (true)
I find it easy to criticize others. (???maybe???)
I tend to become anxious or nervous.(true)
Wanna take the test?
Go here
Monday, March 01, 2004
Word Association
From my gal pal zero , comes this little game. Using free association, you say the word then respond with the first thing that pops into your mind.
Hollywood:: Movie Stars!
Censor:: Idiot lights on cars
Nascar:: Fast cars, fast women,
Lube:: Jiffy Lube
Mortgage:: paying bills
Freedom:: The United States Flag. Choice.
Champion:: Queen (We Are The Champions)
Reality TV:: Big Brother and Survivor
New York:: Sept 11th
Tease:: smile, giggle
I realize some of those may not make sense, for example I think of the flag when I think of freedom. I don't know why but that's the first thing that comes to my mind when someone speaks of freedom. To me the flag represents freedom.
When I wrote the word Champion, I swear the first thing I heard was Queen singing "We Are The Champions" , yeah, I know I'm weird.
Rerun???
Me?
You are Rerun!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
ps: I am going to be adding a new blog to my blogroll. If you get a chance take a hop over and check him out. I think he's great.
Houston Bridges
<*Best Blogs*>
An Audience of One
A Touch Of Heaven
Always Victoria
Bacon and Eh's
Boydcreek
Canuckville
CassieB!!
Causin a Kimmotion!
Chocolate Starfish
Critter Chick
Cul-de-Sac
CandyTufft
Defiance Dolls
Emptying My Head
4EverDawn
Joe Cool
Life After Nexcom
Life on Whidbey
Lumbering Soul
Mind Diversion
My Insanity
Out in the Open
Otto
Southern Secrets
Split Splat (KB)
Talk With Desiree
Txoceanlover's Laments
What's Up Down South
Wind Spirit
Star Wars Fan Films