Monday, March 29, 2004

Is it Monday Yet

You Really Had to Be There!

This has been an exhausting weekend. It started early. Normally that would be a good thing, and I suppose it was in some ways. There has been so much going on, I hardly know where to begin.
First of all I have been worried sick how Amanda (Zach's Mom) was going to react when she found out that Daniel had breezed in for a few days and was spending time with Zach without her knowing about it. It was a surprise when he showed up Wednesday night, but I knew how she felt and I didn't call her and let her know he was here. She has every right to be angry with me for not calling her. After all she is the one who has to pick up the pieces and go on when he (Daniel) goes back to Texas and Zach doesn't see or hear from him for God knows how long. I was wrong, and I knew it.
That made it difficult for me to relax and enjoy Daniel's visit. Things were tense to say the least. My instincts and my gut told me I should at least let Zach's Mother know, but everyone else said NO. So I gave into the pressure (and we wonder why kids give into the pressure to do drugs!)
When I took him home tonight I sat down and told her. I was prepared for the worst. She just got this kind of sad look on her face and didn't say too much at first. Then she said she wasn't mad at me, and that she didn't mind Zach seeing his Dad. Her only concern is how he is going to feel now that his Dad is gone. It's been very hard on him and she just didn't want him to suffer those let down feelings all over again. Her reaction ended up making me feel even worse. I think I'd have rather she screamed and yelled at me.
Now we deal with the aftermath.
After the long drive over there and back to take him home, I am just worn out. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. I need about 14 hours of undesturbed sleep.
On the positive side, it was wonderful to see my oldest son. He looked really good and he seemed to be in good spirits.
Of course it was worth it all to see the look on Zach's face when he walked into the house and saw his Daddy.
You really had to be there!

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