Sunday, March 07, 2004

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Do you remember that song by Johnny Cash? I was never a big fan of Johnny's. He had some great hits, very few of them ever appealed to me, but I really liked that one. Can't say why. Maybe it's simply because it's a good song.
Whatever the reason, I often think of it on these Sunday mornings when I sit in front of my computer blogging. I should be in church. I know I should. I can't tell you the last time I was inside a church. I stopped going years ago. It isn't because I've lost my faith in God. My faith is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger than it has been at times in the past. It's not that I've lost my faith in people. In fact in the past year I have come to realize that there are many good, kind , decent people out there.
I am not really sure why I don't 'attend' church. Maybe it has something to do with my experiences within the church it's self. As a child and later a teenager, I attended church twice a day on Sunday, then on Wednesday night for prayer meetings. This was my Mother's rule and one did not question Mother's rules. So I went. My girlfriends and I would sit way in the back , whisper and pass notes, but we were there.
I really should start going again. I know I should. I have much to be thankful for. Having been very close to the bottom rung in life, I know I should be on my knees thanking God for giving us the strenght to find our way back up. My faith has been sorely tested over the years. I've seen times when I was ready to curse God and man. There have been times when I've wondered what was the point? I've drug myself up off the ground, only to be slapped right back down, more than once. Yet somehow I always find the strenght to begin the climb back up again. The Serenity Prayer has gotten me through some very very dark hours. The hardest part is knowing that there are some things I simply cannot change, and then finding a way to live with that. Living life to it's fullest is not always about making changes. Sometimes it's about accepting things for what they are and making the best of it. I have found peace of mind in knowing that no matter what life brings my way, I will survive. What I cannot change I can learn to live with. Now I just need to work on that whole 'wisdom to know the difference ' thing.
Ya'll have a great Sunday!

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