Saturday, April 29, 2006

Older Women

Older Women

Andy Rooney says,(I always knew Andy was a smart guy, this proves it!)

"As I grow in age, I value older women
most of all. Here are just a few reasons why."

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the
night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care
what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured
in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from
whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you
might think about her.

An older single woman usually has had her fill
of "meaningful relationships and "commitment." The last
thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy,
whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera, or in the middle of an
expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it,
they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you
to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will
often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't
trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't
care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is
far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's
stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.

Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and
she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in
ways younger women could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you
right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,
smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22 year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all of us.

That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count
your blessings that we die off at a far younger age,
leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate
the exquisite woman you've become, without the
distraction of some demanding old man clinging and
whining his way into your serenity."

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Lovin them against my will....

I can't help it I just love these guys!

Monday, April 24, 2006

What She REALLY Means....

FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up

FIVE MINUTES - If she is getting dressed it means half an hour,BUT if you have been given 5 more minutes to wach the game before helping around the MEANS 5..literally

NOTHING - This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "NOTHING" usually end in 'FINE'

GO AHEAD - This is a dare, dont do it!

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and she wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over NOTHING.

THATS OK - This is the most dangerous statement that a woman can make to a man. The word means..she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake!

THANKS - a woman is thanking you, do not question it for faint..just say thank you

WHATEVER -is a woman's way of saying F___ U!

Any questions??

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Calgon take me

Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--
They're beginnin' to boil.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my long lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.

Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tatoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.

Old men in tanktops,
Cruising the gift shops,
Checking out chicitas down by the shore,
They dream about weight loss
Wishing they could be their own boss,
Those 3 day vacations become such a bore.

I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame
And I know it's my own damn fault.

See U there!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

yes, yes, YES!!!

Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go to get away from it all

Bodies in the sand
Tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be falling in love
To the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo

Aruba Jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to Kokomo
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo

To Martinique, that Monserrat mystique

We'll put out to sea
And we'll perfect our chemistry
By and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity

Afternoon delight
Cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye
Give me a tropical contact high
Way down in Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to Kokomo
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo

Port Au Prince I wanna catch a glimpse

Everybody knows
A little place like Kokomo
Now if you wanna go
And get away from it all
Go down to Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to Kokomo
We'll get there fast
And then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go
Way down to Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take you
To Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go

Ooo I wanna take you down to Kokomo

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Let It Go

There are people who can walk away from you.
Hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
DON'T try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. Hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that would leave you.
The bible says, "they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. If they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

It doesn't mean they are a bad person it just means their part in the story is over. You've got to know when people's part in your story is over. So that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
I'm working on developing the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. If it takes too much out of me, then I don't need it. I'm going to stop begging people.
I'm letting go!!
If we're are holding on to something that doesn't belong to us and was never intended for our life, then we need to......
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....
If someone has angered you ........
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
If you! u have a bad attitude.......
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
If people can't stand by you when you need them

Thanks Kathryn for inspiring me to just LET IT GO!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Reality Bites

jeal·ous: adj.

1. Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.

2. Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others.
Inclined to suspect rivalry.
3. Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness: jealous thoughts.

Jealousy sucks. I mean seriously. How can you be jealous of someone that is just not in the realm of reality? Like some hillbilly rockstar is really going to be interested in someone they met for all of a couple of hours. Get real

If someone tells you they love you and promises they're being faithful. Then what's the big deal with that person having a little fun? Especially when that person is someone who's had so little (fun) in the past five or ten years?

Reality bites.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Message in A Blog...

This is Easter weekend. Easter is, if nothing else about redemption, and renewal. It's about sacrifice and forgiveness. About the greatest love one person can have for another.
It is also about life and death. Most of all It's about finding the strength and courage to move on after a great loss.
Death, that ominously, dark cloaked spirit and I are no strangers.
My first encounter with him, was the year I turned 12. My precious Grandfather, the greatest man I ever knew, died on my birthday. It was a shattered little girl that took her birthday cake and threw across the room that dark, rainy January day. I wanted to die too. My PawPaw was gone. Who would ever love me like he had? No one.
In the summer of my 16th year, I met a man who's music was, in my opinion, some of the most amazing, and wonderful I'd ever heard, or have since. I spent that summer with an aunt, who was a big fan, and close friend of Jim Croce's. Jim was on tour that summer (it would be his last). His song Bad, Bad LeRoy Brown had just topped the charts and people were really starting to recognize him and his talent. Aunt Willie (short for Willamina) drug me around with her from town to town following Jim. She adored him. It wasn't that she was IN LOVE with him. She knew he was married, and had a new baby, she just loved his music and him. Not romantic love, more like kindred spirits love. Anyway, even though I was just a kid, I 'got' Jim's music and I too loved it. I remember him being so nice. He called me "the kid". I loved to sit and listen to him sing. Jim had a way of drawing you into his world when he was singing. He made me feel grown up and special.

I will always remember the last time I saw him. I was sitting not five feet away, singing I've Got A Name. My hero worship peaked. That was late in August, just before I returned home for school. I had the biggest crush on him. Less than a month later Jim would die. On September 20th, in Natchitoches, LA., Jim and the four other passengers, were killed instantly. I can remember crying for days. How could God be so cruel? Jim was such a beautiful man, and he had such talent. Over and over I cried, Why, Why, Why?
There were no answers for that heartbroken 16 year old.

Later that year, I discovered Lynyrd Skynyrd. For months I listened to every song I could find by them. I loved everything they did. When summer came and my cousin Deborah invited me to go to camp with her, I figured why not? It was better than hanging out in the hell I called home. A alcoholic step-father, a detatched, co-dependent mother, and three younger brothers who loved to torment me was not my idea of a great summer vacation.
You can imagine my surprise and excitement to find out she had no intention of going to 'camp'. Instead we loaded up our bags, hit the road and became roadies for, yep, you guessed it , Lynyrd Skynyrd! Actually we were more like groupies, but we did get to hang around with the band. They even let us help load and unload, and do set up sometimes. Hey, we were two cute little girls (she a blond, me a brunette) it's not like they were going to turn us down. We had the time of our lives. It was different back then. The guys treated us with respect and no one expected us to 'sleep' with them in return for having the fun of hanging out with them. To this day when I hear "What's Your Name (little girl)" I feel like they're singing that song just for me. That was the best summer of my life.
Three years later my new husband, his best friend Jake, and I (four months pregnant) attended a Skynyrd concert in Alabama. I still remember standing down front, getting stoned (yeah, yeah, I know 'terrible mommy') and swaying to Free Bird. I loved them as much as ever. Three months later their plane would crash in a swamp outside Gillsburg, MS. Ronnie, Steven and Cassie were all killed. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. This time I didn't even bother to ask why. I knew there would be no answer.
I swore then and there I'd NEVER, EVER be a fan again. So you can understand why I hesitate to let myself get to attached to any one artist. Even when their music touches me so very deeply.

I've lost other's in my life. My "first" serious boyfriend committed suicide our senior year in high school. I came close to loosing my own mind over that. It took many years, a lot of drugs and a life long addiction to food as a crutch, for me to understand, it wasn't MY fault. He was a trouble, tortured young man, and there was nothing I could have done to prevent what happened. Still the pain is there. It never goes away. Even now so many years later I can still see his face and hear the sound of his voice. Somethings never leave your mind. Tequila (or Jack) helps, but eventually the morning comes, and you have to get up and face the world. Ready or not, life goes on.

I knew and understood the pain and heartache of loosing someone you love. But I refused to let it define who I was, or who I became.
Then again, maybe not. Maybe my refusal to deal with the heartache, and the pain, is exactly what brought me to where I am today. A woman standing at a crossroads in her life. Do I stay or do I go? Do I try to start over, or do I simply accept this is the hand I've been dealt and learn to live with it?
This Easter I know I've some hard choices to make. Choices that will affect everyone in my life. The one thing I know for certain is, I can't go on like this. I'm not doing myself or anyone else any good. If anything I'm hurting us all. I've prayed about it, but like before, I've mostly gotten unanswered prayers. So, I guess this one I will have to do alone. No biggie. I think maybe alone is what I do best.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Goodbye time

Well, it's clear the time to say goodbye has come. Apparently I've lost my place in the virtual community.
Oh well, I guess nothing lasts forever.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Why, Why, Why

Apparently I need to heed my own advice (ya'll keep it between the ditches). I never made it to see Gary. I'm not even going to go into why.

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

That's the way life goes...

I'm off to Panama City today. Going to see Gary Allan (yep, the guy ^ there) in concert tonight. I'm so excited.
Ya'll keep it between the ditches while I'm away.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Yeah! What she said!!!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Dangerous Women...

Saturday night while dancing with a tall, dark, handsome man, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Honey, you're a dangerous woman", I laughed and said, "You have no idea how dangerous I could be, under the wrong circumstances". We both laughed and left it at that.
I've been thinking about that ever since. What's wrong with me? Why am I suddenly behaving like a silly teenager? What's happening to me? Somebody tell me please, because damned if I can figure out what's going on. Who is this woman who's moved into my body?
If I keep this up, my family is going to have me committed.
They are starting to get a little impatient with my craziness. I feel like everybody's watching me. Taking notes, keeping names. Writing it down in my permanent record. I'm so going to get suspended from school my life.

You know what's really scary? I don't really give a damn.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Oh What A Night!

Another record breaking Rattlesnake Rodeo! I've never seen so many people in this little small town. There were people here from as far away as Colorado and Montana. You have no idea how much those westerners love rattlesnakes. Is it just me or do the men from out west just age better and slower?
Now let me tell you about Joe. I'm just guessing here, but I'd bet he won't be forgetting good ole Podunt, or me for that matter, any time soon. It's not often a crazy woman in an SUV almost runs you over.
Yep, that was me. I have the autograph to prove it. You see, I was there, and I had to leave to go pick up a friend. When we got back we saw Joe's bus. It's big and purty, and RED. I was so excited I decided to drive around by the bus just for a 'looksee'. I convinced the policeman (friend of son) to let me past the barrier, and zip, zip in I went. Of course I had no idea that at that exact moment Joe and the guys would emerge from the bus. Do I even need to tell you that I just about peed my pants? I was wayyy excited and he wasn't expecting any cars/trucks to be on that side of the bus and we came face to face (well more like jeep to face) with each other. I don't know who was more shocked. The look on his face was priceless. I jumped out of that jeep and ran over to him to see if he was okay. He looked down at me (he is one TALL fella) and said, "Darlin you damn near ran over me!" I must have looked like I was about to cry, cause he started laughing and said, "Hey, it's okay, no damage done." Then, then, he HUGGED ME. He HUGGED ME! That long tall gorgeous hunk of man HUGGED, ME! ME!!! Not one to let an opportunity pass, I did a full body pat down just to be sure there was no damage done (there wasn't). We chatted for a few minutes, then I started to get back in the jeep, when he says "Well gee, don't you even want an autograph?" Then, wait, wait for it, he says, "Why don't you just park right here and you can walk in with us." And it only got better from there on in. Let it suffice to say it was a long, long night, and there was dancing and partying until the wee hours of the morning. Then there was breakfast at the only place in town that's open at 3 A.M.. As they boarded their bus to leave, I got a hug and a KISS! Now tell me I'm not one damned lucky woman.

An Audience of One
A Touch Of Heaven
Always Victoria
Bacon and Eh's
Causin a Kimmotion!
Chocolate Starfish
Critter Chick
Defiance Dolls
Emptying My Head
Joe Cool
Life After Nexcom
Life on Whidbey
Lumbering Soul
Mind Diversion
My Insanity
Out in the Open
Southern Secrets
Split Splat (KB)
Talk With Desiree
Txoceanlover's Laments
What's Up Down South
Wind Spirit
Star Wars Fan Films