The Lighter Side of Life

"Ponderisms" according to Bryn

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. (for some odd reason this one makes me think of Phyllis)
*************

Do you have a favorite "ponderism" you'd like to add?

Saturday Scruples

Haven't done this one in a while, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

1. Your brother is an activist. You suspect he may be involved in a series of bombings. Do you notify authorities?

I'm not terribly close to my brothers so I'd have no problem with turning them in. Now, lets say it was one of my children, would I still be so quick to do the right thing? I hope I would. It would be hard, but I think I'd have to do it. I couldn't live with myself if someone got hurt or worse was killed.

2. You're starting a new restaurant. Video Lottery Terminals (VLT's) would bring in needed cash. Do you install them?
Sure, why not. I'm not forcing anyone to make use of them, it's purely voluntary.

3. You invent a new kitchen aid. You can make four times more money if you manufacture it in Asia, where workers are paid slave wages. Do you?

Probably not. I'm a firm believer in fair wages for fair work, and in keeping our products manufactured right here in the good ole USA.

Okay, your turn! Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me how you REALLY feel.

I'm Weird that way

Okay El, here ya go.


1. When I boot up my computer I have a process I go through. It never changes. Boot up, play one game of solitaire, check my email, check the news (CNN, then FOX) then check my blogs.

2. I hate clowns. I'm not afraid of them, I just don't like them. I don't feel the need to smash their faces in, but I really don't like clowns.

3. I have one soap opera I watch (Bold & Beautiful) I keep saying I'm going to quit, but never do for very long. I've been watching it since it premiered in 1987.

4. I too have a strange laugh. Which is why I try hard NOT to laugh in Wal-Mart. Or anywhere else in public.

5. I love Scrabble, but am so competitive no one will play with me. Which is why I play online. Even there I have to change my id. A lot.

6. I can't drink milk without ice in it.

7. I can't stand to be interrupted. If you interrupt me I will stop talking and just stare at you.

8. I have a very strange sneeze. It's not loud, but weird. Everyone who hears it looks at me like I'm , well, weird.

9. Looking at the sun, or a light bulb will make me sneeze too. (Just like Ellen)

10. I will not wear clothes that aren't color coordinated.

11. I hate it when people say "ya know" after every sentence.

12. I refuse to cut my own toenails and will pay someone else to do it for me.

13. I can sit and read for hours, but if I try to read out loud I will nearly fall asleep.

14. I hate talking on the phone. Which is why I don't call many people.

15. I always have to sleep on the side of the bed next to the door.

16. I can't stand commercials. Won't watch one unless I absolutely have to.

17. I yell at people on TV

18. I yell at people when driving.

19. I don't like most men's cologne. Jade East, Hai Karate, Canoe, and English Leather are the only one's that I like. Hai Karate can make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Among other things.

20. I love fried chicken, but won't eat the thigh. Don't know why, but I just won't eat them.

Okay, stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Now, I tag, who else, Phyllis !

That which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet.

a crime by any other name...

In a few short days Patrick Fitzgerald, (the special prosecutor who was tapped nearly two years ago to find out whether anyone in the White House broke a federal law by blowing the cover of CIA operative) will make an announcement of his findings. When this occurs one of two things will happen. He will announce despite a thorough investigation, he as been unable to find evidence that anyone created a crime, and therefore is dismissing the Grand Jury, packing up and going home, with no indictments. In this case you will hear a giant sucking sound as the air seeps slowly out of the balloon of hope many a liberal/democrat, (and a few renegade conservatives) has been holding aloft. There will be celebratory parties in the republican/conservative sector. In a world where all things are possible, it could happen just that way.
More likely though, Fitzgerald will announce he has sought and procured indictments against at least two people, and quite possibly more. This is when you will hear the sound of the giant republican spin machine kick into high gear. I say high gear because it's already hard at work in the inner circles in Washington D.C. and the main stream media.
There have already been the attempts to discredit, Fitzgerald (a man approved of by THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF), as an overzealous prosecutor, who thinks he's mission from God (sound like anyone else we know). I guess it's okay for a president to think he's on a mission from God, but no one else is allowed to believe they are being empowered by the almighty.

Then you have people like Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) saying things like "I certainly hope that if there is going to be an indictment ... it is an indictment on a crime and not some perjury technicality where they couldn't indict on the crime, and so they go to something just to show that their two years of investigation was not a waste". Now this would be the SAME Kay Bailey Hutchinson who thought President Clinton should be impeached because he committed perjury. Let me get this straight, if you lie to a Grand Jury about sex in the oval office, it's perjury and you should be prosecuted and impeached. If you lie to the Grand Jury about a matter concerning National Security and the outing of a CIA agent, well that's just a technicality. Can you say HYPOCRITE? Of course Ms Hutchinson knows all about getting off on technicalities. Since that's exactly what she did back a few years ago.

So, be prepared. If and when indictments are issued, there will be those on the right who will be screaming foul . They will say Fitzgerald had a political agenda, they will claim it was all just a bunch of politicians and reporters gossiping. They will say, if lies were told, they were lies of omission or confusion. A mere technicality . Certainly not worthy of serious prosecution or even attention. It will be the criminalization of politics as usual.
This is how politicians work. If they can't defend or deny the crime, go on the offense and attack the accusers. Smear them, call them partisan hacks, go after them so aggressively and so nasty that in the end, everyone forgets the actual crime at the heart of the matter. Then they say Mission Accomplished.

Somewhere out there CIA agents will still be expected to put their lives on the line, no longer secure in the knowledge that those in their very own government won't betray them, in the name of politics. Because should they do so the American people would hold them accountable.

Meanwhile you and I, Mr and Ms Average Citizen is left feeling even more disgusted, and disillusioned with our political and judicial system. Maybe it's time we took being citizens of this country a lot more seriously. Maybe it's time to let politicians know, if you break the law, don't count on some slick lawyer getting you off on a technicality. Because WE THE PEOPLE are going to hold you accountable. If not in a court of law, then in the voting booth. Then WE can say, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED .

Self-Aggrandizing

My blog is worth $52,581.60.
How much is your blog worth?

Oh Yeah! I'm good! I'm really, really good (doing the happy dance)!

Sunday Sermon

part deux

Epiphany

epiphany: 1. A Christian feast celebrating the manifestation of the divine nature of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi.
January 6, on which this feast is traditionally observed.
2. A revelatory manifestation of a divine being
3. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization: "I experienced an epiphany, a spiritual flash that would change the way I viewed myself" (Frank Maier).

E-piph-a-ny
I love that word. I love the way it rolls off one's tongue. It sounds a bit like your talking with pop rocks in your mouth. I love the meaning of it even more. Especially #3.
How many epiphanies do you suppose one experiences in one's lifetime?
An epiphany is more than a simple realization. It's deeper, more intense. More often than not it's life altering.
We are born a blank slate. When infants, by instinct we trust those around us to care for us. If we're fortunate, as children we remain for the most part naive to the realities of life. Our parents, older siblings, and extended family seek to protect us from the cruelties of the outside world. As we grow and mature we learn over time the lessons that life sends our way. There is NO Santa Clause. The Easter Bunny isn't real. Not everyone loves us and there are people out there who will hurt us. Not because we're bad, but because they are. Still it is innate human nature to believe in the overall goodness of our fellowman. It is only through the process of growing up that we come to the realization that life is not always copacetic. In fact as often as not, life can be cruel. It is how we react to the realities of life that shapes our character and our morality. This is the natural process of maturation.
Epiphanies are rare. But when they come, we know it. There is no mistaking an epiphany for the everyday algorithm of life.
When I wrote yesterdays post I wasn't expressing anything I haven't said before. It's well known that I have little patience for cruelty. Of any kind. Be it human upon human or animal. There is nothing I detest more than seeing someone stronger, older, more powerful, being barbarous, inhumane, or hateful to another.
I was't just angry at what that mother had done, but at everyone on our society who has allowed people like her to make excuses for their behavior. This often puts me at odds with even my ownself. Because I am also a compassionate person. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in understanding, and in being accepting of others.
It was as I read the responses to my post that I experienced my epiphany. There are those who agree with me, but there seem to be a lot more (especially over in my political blog) who felt that while my anger was justified, I needed to see the bigger picture . "The woman is sick. She has a disease. She is to be pitied. ..."
As I read those comments, something inside of me clicked. In that moment I realized this case is a prime example of the difference between Liberals, and Conservatives. Those who are liberal leaning want to reach out to this woman and embrace her. To understand her pain, to show her compassion and understanding. To offer her forgiveness. Their belief is her crime is horrible, but she is not. She is worthy of our mercifulness.
Conservatives on the other hand, were filled with anger, and indignation. This woman had made conscious choices. She knew of her disease and she chose NOT to take the necessary medication to keep it under control. She was reckless, foolish, and willingly endangered not only herself, and her children but anyone who came into contact with her. They were tired of the endless list of excuses that people make for the evil they commit. Innocent until proven guilty? How much proof do you need? The only innocents here were the three children who lost their lives. Her crime was such that only God could offer her forgiveness and mercy. It is our place as her fellow man to see that she is held accountable in this life. God can take care of the rest.

Knowing my political stance, one would be most likely to assume that I would fall into the former catagory. For the better part of my life I've been liberally compasionate. Today, I realized I have changed. Not a fullblown, gone over to the other side change. But changed all the same.
I am sick and tired of excuses. I'm tired of hearing excuses. I'm tired of hearing , oh this is all political. Never addressing the real issues. I'm tired of hearing he/she is sick. You know what? I don't care if they're sick. I don't care if there's politics involved. If you do the crime, you do the time. The chances are if there's enough evidence to charge you with a crime, you are guilty of something. I know there are people who are falsely accused. I just happen to believe those are the exceptions not the rule.
I'm tired of people looking to someone else to take care of them. If you see a wall of water coming your way and you don't get the hell out of the way, don't whine and bitch because others can't get there in time to save all of you people who were too stupid to MOVE. If you live in a area prone to earthquakes/hurricanes/floods/tornados and your not prepared to take care of yourself until help can get to you, don't belly-ache because rescuers couldn't get to you first.
I'm tired of people having children they can't afford to take care and placing a burden on society that should be that of the individual.
If people are disabled through no fault of their own that's one thing. If they are lazy and irresponsible, that's something else entirely.
I suppose it really all comes down to personal accountablity. Being responsible for yourself, your actions, and the lives of those you bring into this world.
The bad news is there are still far to many enablers out there. The good news is there are apparently a lot more people who feel the way I do.
And if you kill your children. I hope you get a jury with twelve people who think exactly the way I do. Which is really more than you deserve.

Sunday's Sermon

a day early

Have you ever been so mad you literally wanted to beat someone? I mean really beat them. Kick, slap, punch, pull their hair. Just beat the living crap out of them?
Yeah, I've got serious anger issues. I know it's not good Christian-like behavior. I know God in his infinite wisdom is not going to be happy with me. It won't be the first time. You can bet (oops, another 'no no') it won't be the last.

AN Y WAY, (ooo Piggy's fav word) I've been in a mood lately. You know, one of those pissy/bitchy moods where everything seems to rub you the wrong way. Some might call it PMS. My family might call it PBS (you figure it out). Then yesterday morning I read David's post and I started feeling a little better. Maybe the world isn't so phucked up after all.

It didn't last long, because THEN, I read THIS !
That sorry piece of human excrement has the unmitigated gall to freaking plead innocent??? What part of you DID IT does she NOT get? People SAW her. They SAW her cold-bloodedly stand on that pier and throw those innocent little babies in that deep, dark water. She dropped them in, one at a time, then stood there and watched as they drowned. She was their Momma. They trusted her. And she killed them. Now she has the nerve to plead INNOCENT?
I am SO SICK of this. What kind of a sick world do we live in where this woman can stand up in a court of law and claim innocence? It's gone too far. We as a society have let it go too damn far.
I don't want to hear that God, the devil, 'voices' (or post-partum depression) told/made her to do it. Bullcrap! I'm sick of the Andrea Yate's and Susan Smith's getting away with cold blooded murder, of children. THEIR own children. I'm tired of the John Couey's, and the Joseph Edward Duncan's, raping, torturing, and murdering OUR children. I'm sick of hearing excuses, and I'm sick of us, ALL of us sitting back and letting people like this thrive in our society.
I know, your thinking what can I do? That's way out in California. Well here's what you can do, you can take 20 or 30 minutes out of your busy day and write you Senator, your Congressman, your Governor, your President, and tell them you are sick and tired of people getting away with murder (and other crimes). You can tell them if they want YOUR vote, they'd darn well better start stepping up and doing something about the criminals in our society. Tell them your tired of people who break the law being let go on technicalities. Let them know that SOMEONE is going to start being held accountable. If not the criminals then the politicians (who often are both). Because we are not going to take it anymore. Then write about it in YOUR blog, get the word out. Encourage others to do the same. Believe me if they hear this from enough people, they'll start paying attention.

Yesterday afternoon I sent out a dozen emails. Today I'm mailing at least as many letters. Because I for one and not going to just keep sitting back and whining about the mess our society is in, I'm going to do something. At least I'm going to try.
Now if you all want to all chip in and buy me a plane ( train or bus) ticket to California, I might even do more than that. Just let me in a room with that bitch. Five minutes is all I need.

Things I Hate

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

10. Stupid people. Stupid people should have to wear signs saying "I'm STUPID" that way we could avoid them as much as possible.

11. That "I" don't get to decide who qualifies as stupid.

Okay, I made the last one up, but it's important to me. What would you add to the list?

"Intelligent" Design?

For the past few years there's been a progressive effort to apply religious teachings to what is often called the real world. There's a strong ongoing debate concerning the teaching of intelligent design in public schools or "balancing" it with evolution.
Personally I've always believe that the 'evolution' of humankind was a combination of God's creationism and the natural evolution of the species. God did indeed create the first beings but man himself evolved from that original creation. This , in my opinion is the only realistic and logical explanation.
Otherwise what you have is something I'd have a difficult time reconciling.
Lets look at what the theory of 'intelligent design' is at it's core.

Genesis ii, 21-22
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

That's one rib, one woman, right?

Okay lets move forward, Adam and Eve have done the deed. We have Cain and Able. Able it would appear is a hard working, decent sort a guy, who loves his God, and builds a lovely alter to honor him. Cain on the other hand, is at best not as talented at alter building as his brother. When Cain sees how impressed God is with his sibling, he gets all pissed off and kills his brother in a fit of rage. Now, that's murder, right? Yet does God banish Cain from the family compound? Does he have Daddy Adam lock Cain up 'for life' or worse give him the 'death' sentence for his crime? He does not. But that's a topic for another day.
Moving on, along comes Seth. Which makes Seth and Cain, literally the 'fathers' of the human race.
Now, here's my question. Where's the Mother?
Were there daughters born (of Adam and Eve) that are not mentioned?
The problem here is no matter whether there were daughters we don't know about, or worse there were no daughters and Eve remained the only woman, what you have is NOT a pretty picture.
THIS is the problem with Intelligent Design. If you are going to teach the 'theory' of man being created by God, then you are going to have to teach our children that the human race has it's roots founded in incest. Because in order for Seth and Cain (that brother killer) to have children they had to have to had sexual relations with their [previously unmentioned] sister/sisters, or their Mother.
Do we really want to teach our children that the very roots of our race are a murderer and incestuous brothers and their Mother and or sisters?
The 'theory' of evolution is starting to look a whole lot more attractive and simple. Don't ya think?

[editors note: This post was inspired by a post found at Adgitadiaries.]

Sunday Morning Coming Down

There are many reasons why I love this season. One of which is the early arrival of night. When I read the following, I knew the person who wrote it shared my psyche.
" Darkness begins her descent around five pm. By six I'm back in my world.
I've always loved darkness, dim lights and a touch of chill to the air--It's like my blanket that absorbs some of the impact of the hammer weights.
I want, no need, the comfort of small warm, cozy spaces.
That's why dark is light to me...
Heat and sunshine are not my friends. We tolerate each other like relatives you know are there but you don't like to deal with unless you have to."

There was a time in my life when I found joy and pleasure in the company of others. There was nothing I loved more than a family get-together or a company party.
I can pinpoint the exact moment when that began to change. I lost my ability to trust people. Especially with my heart, my loyalty and my faith. When I needed them most, almost everyone I knew failed me. I was left, alone, spiraling into the darkness of depression. It was then I discovered the asylum of darkness. Alone in my dark little world I could sleep, or dream, but most of all escape. My lonely tortured soul found comfort in the quiet stillness of the long autumn and winter nights.
I dread the coming of summer. The oppressive heat and the constant buzz, buzz, buzz of people all around me. The slamming of doors, the sounds of children playing in the streets. Lawnmowers blasting out their roar as the cut a pathway through our yards. Cars racing up and down the highways on their way to summer vacations. The noise shatters my inner peace.
Sometimes I want to scream BE QUIET!

Then comes autumn. People move indoors. It's as if there's been a muffler added to the world around me. I can breathe in the sweet smells of burning leaves, candy apples and cinnamon. And darkness arrives earlier and lasts longer.
I am a night owl. If I could, I'd perch as the owl does, on a branch and watch the quiet calm of night unfold around me. Ah how sweet that twould be.
Maybe insomnia is not so bad after all.
Is there little wonder that this is one of my favorite songs?
Hello darkness my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again.
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seed while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone,
Narrow streets of cobble stone.
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp,
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never shared,
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools!" said I, "you do not know,
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell...
And echoed in the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon gods they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming,
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whispered in the sound of silence.

There are those of us for whom sleep is an elusive dream. For more years than I can recall insomnia has been my curse to bear. It's not as if I can't sleep. I can. Just let me sit down to watch TV or read a book and in less than 20 minutes I'm out like a light. The problem is, it doesn't last. Twenty, thirty minutes, an hour at the most and I'm awake. And not that rested, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed kind of awake, but that groggy what-did-I-just-do kind of awake. I have tried everything known to man, warm milk, sleep aids, deep breathing excercises, soothing music, all kinds of tea, you name it I've probably tried it. Nothing works.

The bedroom is dark. Everyone else is asleep. I yawn, stretch my arms behind my head, and lie there staring at the ceiling. I've been in my bed for several minutes. Ahhh, the peace and quiet is all around me.
I'm very tired, but I can't get to sleep! I toss and turn this way, then that way. I cross my legs, then uncross them. I lie on my stomach, then flip onto my back. Now my side.
Okay, it's been twenty minutes now. My brain won't shut off. There are so many things to think about, including "why in the world can't I fall asleep?"
Each passing moment leads to increased frustration. My mind jumps ahead to tomorrow, thinking about all the things I need to get done, all the while knowing that I'll only be able to do so by dragging this exhausted and fatigued body around for the entire day.
I've had people tell me, "if you can't sleep, don't go to bed". The problem with that is I'd probabaly not see a bed for weeks. Not only that but I'd also probably end up killing myself and or someone else, falling asleep while driving, cooking or some equally normal everyday task.
Eventually of course I do fall asleep. Then, it's almost impossible to wake up. At least wake up enough to function at a normal level.
This past week someone suggested I try this new sleep drug called AMBIEN.
Of course I've also had people suggest I try smoking pot.
It's now 3:30 AM and I'm wide awake. I'm thinking maybe drugs, of one kind or another, might not be so bad.

First Do No Harm

The physician's oath says that above all else the physician will 'first do no harm'. But how do you decide what is harm and which is more harm. Is ending the life of a patient ever the least 'harmful' thing a doctor can do? Can it ever be compassionate to allow someone to suffer in pain if only to protect your own moral and legal standing?
I can see a genuine moral delimma here...
Staff at New Orleans hospital debated euthanizing patients

It's easy to say, "I'd never...", but unless your there, and can see, feel, and share in the suffering, it's hard to really know what you'd do. Especially if these patients were in terrible pain.
I know I would not want to have to stand in judgment of these people. I can only imagine the heartache they must have gone through. I know if a member of my family had been a patient, I could never hate or judge the doctor or nurse who made the decision to end my loved ones suffering.

Someone needs to be held responsible for doctors and nurses, who've dedicated their lives to helping and healing, being forced to make such heart rendering choices. Hospitals should have been at the TOP of any evauation list. Why weren't they?
I know who's name is at the top of my list, and NO it's not the President. His name is on the list. Not because of his actions during or after the hurricane. His mistake occurred long before Katrina struck. His mistake was in appointing people to postitions that they had no business being in.
Still, had the man, in who's hands the people of New Orleans placed their faith and fate in, done his job, both before and after the hurricane, this tragedy could have been averted. Ray Nagin needs to be held accountable. There is simply no way this man should be allowed to remain in office to over see the rebuilding of this city when he is particially responsible for her destruction.

Indian Summer

Indian Summer Crusin
The words alone conjure up images of blazing colors, and thoughts of sunny warm days,and cool restful nights. It's that all too short period of time between the stifling hazy heated days of summer, and the cold numbing nights of winter. It's arrival may come any time from late September, to early November, depending on your locality. That is of course in the Northern Hemisphere.
Would you be surprised to know that most people say their season of choice is autumn? It did me. I thought most preferred summer. I'm sure there are even, more than a few who revel in the long cozy nights of winter. But for me, it's all about autumn. My favorite pastime is Sunday afternoon crusin, on those lovely Indian Summer afternoons.
Unlike Mary Lou and Houston , I lack the wordsmith to fully describe the beauty and joy I see and feel all around me with the arrival of autumn. I can't think of a single thing about it that I don't enjoy.
There are of course the colors. Reds, yellows, oranges, browns, there's even still a touch of green here and there. The smells assault my senses, yards being raked, leaves burning. Hay being baled and stored for the winter. Horns of plenty pop up everywhere. As do Indian corn, squash, and of course pumpkins. Soon to be followed by jack-o-lanterns and scarecrows. There's football, Halloween, and my most favored holiday, Thanksgiving. What's not to love?
Some believe the term 'Indian Summer' comes from when Native Americans harvested their crops at this time of year. It may even be of Asian Indian, rather than North American Indian, origin. H. E. Ware, an English writer, noted that ships at that time traversing the Indian Ocean loaded up their cargo the most during the "Indian Summer", or fair weather season. Several ships actually had an "I.S." on their hull at the load level thought safe during the Indian Summer.
Whatever the origin, or time of arrival, it is by far the most beautiful of all seasons. At least in my opinion.
What about you? What's your season of preference?

[editors note: I too am having a hard time with my page loading. I don't know what the problem is. If you have any ideas please let me know.]

Monday, Monday

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day
Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday mornin' you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
Oh Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me

Is anyone ever glad to see Monday? I guess parents with school aged children might be. Maybe the people who have Monday's off. For the most part though I think most people kind of dread Mondays.
This particular Monday won't be so bad for all those who work in federal and state jobs. Today is Columbus Day. So lots of folks will get a much needed extra day off. Actually it's NOT Columbus Day. October 12th is. I know this because that's also my baby boy's birthday. Unfortunately for him, he'll get neither day off. But, we'll bake him a cake and cook him a steak, that should appease him.

Yes, it was time for new digs. Since it's actually starting to feel like autumn here, I thought I'd go ahead and start the celebration. This is my favorite time of year. Now if it will just last for awhile.
Happy week ahead ya'll.

ps: HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all you Canucks out there!!!

Seasons in the Sun

Late yesterday afternoon I had to run out to the market for a few things. Still feeling a rather poorly, I wasn't in the mood to shop, so I picked up the few items on my list and headed for the checkout. Just as I stepped in line someone came up behind me and touched me on my back. It's funny how we become accustomed to certain things and react to them accordingly. I smiled, and turned, ready to reach out and hug my sister-in-law. We often run into each other there and in my mind it seemed reasonable that it was she behind me. As I turned to see the woman behind me, I had two immediate reactions. The first was reality that I didn't recognize her, the second was shock, that I didn't recognize her . She smiled politely and ask if I would hand her a package of what I think was crackers. I vaguely remember going through the process of checking out and paying for my purchases. As I slowly walked out of the store I was gripped by the most intense feeling of grief I've experienced in a long, long time.
I've never been particularly close to my sister-in-laws. The difference in our ages I'm sure contributed somewhat to that. They were all at least 10 years older than me and we really had little in common. Of the three I suppose I was closest to Wanda. We of course shared a name. We both had husbands who were stubborn, strong willed, and very much of the NASCAR dads, southern redneck ilk. We'd lived within 20 miles of each other for the past 15 years, so needless to say we ran into each other quite often. Some of our best conversations took place standing in the grocery store or out front, just catching up.
I don't think it fully hit me until that moment, that I will never see her again. We'll never laugh over something I've written in the paper and she had to go around telling people "that's the OTHER Wanda". Never again will we trade tidbits about some crazy, ridiculous thing Robert or Kenny had done. No longer can I rely on her to keep me updated on family gossip, who's getting divorced, who's having another baby and is STILL not married. She's really gone. Forever.
I sat in my truck for a good half hour and just cried. No, we weren't 'close', but she was an unfathomable part of my life. I know deep down this is what I was trying to avoid when I didn't attend her funeral. The finality of death. The certainty of grief, and the reality of life.
I don't do grief well. I never know the right thing to say, and ususally end up babbling on about some inane nonsense. I don't know how to make myself, much less anyone else feel better. Death is not an easy subject for me. These days my own mortality and that of those I love, is becoming all too real for comfort. I may appear to be a strong person, but I'm not. I tend to retreat within myself when I encounter a situation or an emotion I can't handle. Considering how I reacted yesterday and how I'm feeling right now, I'm not sure how I'd handle losing someone very close to me. I hope I never find out.

In tribute to the other Wanda I offer this .... Goodbye My Friend

Testing, Testing....

Still feeling like crap.
While I'm away, here's another silly quiz. This one's kind of eerie. Maybe hits a little too close to home.

Wanda took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Feels that there is little prospect of achieving h..." Click HERE to read the rest of the results.

Down for the Count

I'm sick as a run over dog. I'll be back in a few days. Meanwhile, I thought I'd throw this up for sheer entertainment value. I found it on somebody elses blog, just don't remember who's at the moment. I guess on top of having the cold from hell I'm suffering from CRS as well.

You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What the heck, being a Hermit sounds pretty good right now.

Matchstick Men

I almost never take our truck in for servicing. Primarily because most of what needs to be done, can be accomplished by the men of the Breathe household. Oil changes, brake pads and such are the domain of the Roberts. Between the two of them, they keep Ms Jeepy running smoothly.
There are of course things they cannot handle. New tires is one. So when the annual 'time for new tires' rolls around we start er up and take er down to the local tires and stuff store. They do more than sell tires and accessories, but that's about all WE need from them.
"I" don't "do" this. The 'tire store' is not on my list of favorite shopping spots. There's more than one reason for this, but they all pretty much come back to the same thing. "Me", and my inability to bite my tongue, or mind my manners. I can't abide being treated like some brainless bimbo.
You all know him. That "guy". Every town has one. You know the type. He thinks he knows everything, and he's hellbent on showing the world how much he knows and how what he knows is the beginning and end to any subject. Men have been known to alternately wither or fall asleep in his presence. Women either, act like the brainless bimbos he so loves (this involves giggling, batting their eyelashes and blushing), try their best to ignore him and spend as little time in his company as possible, or they explode. Guess which one best describes "ME"? You can rest assured it's been ages since I did that giggly, embarrassed, female thing. For this reason, it has been decreed that "Mom" does NOT take the truck in for new tires.
Ah the best laid plans of mice and men. The appointment had been made. Robert #2 would do the honors. Then life stepped in and plucked it up. But wait I said, stiffening my spine, "I can do this". I'll take along a friend, we'll drop Jeepy off and I'll never even have to encounter Mr I'm God's gift not just to women, but to all mankind as well . I shoulda known better.
We dropped off the Jeep around 11-ish. No problem. The truck would be ready in a 'couple of hours' so my girlfriend and I are off to lunch and a bit shopping. Note to any who might care, Barnhills has the best roast beef ever to been served. The best. We ate, we shopped, then headed back to the 'tire store' to retrieve Jeepy.
Upon our arrival, we exited her car and took ourselves inside to pay the bill and then be on our way. Mind you we behaved very properly, after all if one doesn't wish to be treated like a bimbo, one should refrain from such behavior. So we walk up to the counter and I tell the girl I'm there to pick up my truck. Without a glance she asks which one would that be? I tell her my name and which vehicle I'm there for. Slowly she looks up at me, and there is a deafening silence in the room. "Oh" she says, "Ah okay, ah, yeah, um just a sec", "Oh, yeah, here it is." The look on this girls face would be hilarious, if you didn't know what was about to happen. Haltingly she says the dreaded words, "Mr D wanted to talk to you about your truck." I can only imagine the courage it took for her to make that statement. "No," I said to her, "He doesn't." There for a moment I thought she was going to cry. Seriously. "Well," she says, "HE thinks he does." Somewhere in the back halls of the office people were making bets. On the street corner someone was selling tickets. All of this occurring in the span of five minutes, or less.
Small town drama at it's best. The local [if only self-proclaimed] lothario was about to encounter this small town's version of Hillary Clinton. That's not really fair to Hillary, I'm way more sexy than she is (then again, who isn't), so he will be distracted by my semi-tight jeans and reasonably nice ass, which is going to put him at a disadvantage. On the other hand I don't suffer fools well, and sexist ones even less. My inability to control my tongue and put my thoughts in order when stressed, may give him just the opening he needs. For one of us this is NOT going to be pretty.
Darn, I just got a call and I have to leave for awhile, so guess what? You'll have to check back later for the rest of the story.
Oh come on, you KNOW you soooo wanna know the rest.

Update: Part two is in the post BELOW

Matchstick Men, Part Deux

Sorry about that, had to go help a friend out of a mess. Considering she has helped me a time or two, it's the only decent thing I could do.

Soooo back to the story of boring life in a small town.
My girlfriend and I are standing at the counter in the tires and stuff store, looking at the young lady on the other side. I can see my girlfriends expression, she's trying with all her might, not to laugh her ass off. She knows what's coming and she's loving every minute of it. People love to see a 'smack down' and most don't care who's on the smacking end and who's on the down end. I have to say in my defense, I think most of them were rooting for me. Especially since most of them were women. Of course there are a few who don't exactly appreciate my 'politics' so there may have been one or two who were silently wishin and hopin to see me 'downsized' a bit.
Anywayyyyyyy (ooo Piggy's fav word) little Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt in Her Mouth, gets on the phone, calls back to the shop and tells them to tell Mr D ( Mr I'm God's gift not just to women, but to all mankind) that Mrs B[itch] is here to pick up her truck. I turn around an look as he walks through the door. Now keep in mind the shop in back is a garage. They work on cars, trucks, ect. back there. It's nasty, greasy, and hot. Here he comes in his nice, neatly pressed khakis, a light blue shirt opened about two buttons too low for the workplace. And boat shoes with no socks. Trying to look for all the world like the sea captain he fancies himself. Never has a man looked more out of place. He has this sandy red hair, wears glasses and if he kept his mouth shut, he'd be marginally cute. But that's not gonna happen. "Afternoon Mrs B.," he says "Hot enough for ya?". I leaned back on one foot, crossed my arms and said "It's hot and getting hotter by the minute, so lets get this over with." "Well," he continues "I just wanted to let you know that you might need to get those brake pads replaced and maybe have the rotors turned. We can do that for you today if you don't mind waiting a little while. Let me get you ladies a cold one and we can shoot the breeze while the boys finish up." Being the bwitch I am, I stood there for about a minute and let him think he'd hoodwinked me. Then I said "Do I look stupid to you?" "Excuse me?" he says "I said, Do I look stupid to you, or can't you hear me?" At this point his face is starting to turn red, and he's beginning to stammer just a bit. "No ma'm," he says, " I just wanted to let you know..." and before he can finish I cut him off. "Mr D.", I say, "I have a husband AND a grown son. They take care of the maintenance on our Jeep. The brakes don't need changing, the rotors don't need turning, the oil doesn't need changing. I don't need you to do anything for me other than get my bill so I can pay, then bring me my Jeep so I can go." Now you would think he'd have the good sense to turn around and walk away. Good sense clearly is not his strong suite. Well, either that or he was shocked and awed by my spirit and my beauty. (okay, now THAT is meant as biting sarcasm and thrown in for amusement value, so it is permissable to fall out of your chair laughing) Instead, he forges onward, "Well," he says "We're obligated to let you know what we find when we change out the tires, and those brake pads look like they are about ready to be changed." Suddenly I feel this hand on my arm, I turn and look up into the face of my friend, and she says "Don't."
We both know, I want to tear into this asshole for all he's worth. I want to tell him what women everywhere have wanted to tell him since he was probably 17 years old. I want to tell him he's a sexist pig who has no idea what women want, because if he did he'd go dig a hole, crawl in it and pull the hole in after him. I want to tell him the only person who remotely finds him sexy, funny or irresistible is himself. I want to tell him women don't appreciate being leered at, or talked to like we're brainless twits. But, this IS a small town. And I do have to live here, as does the rest of my family. And his son is good friends with my kids, and they really wouldn't appreciate me making and ass of him or myself. So, as badly as I hate to, I look coldly at him and say "Just get me my bill, and my truck. I'll let my husband take care of making any changes." Apparently he too has an epiphany about this time and decides not to push his luck. He looks at the girl and says, "Give her ,her bill." Then he turned and walked away. I know he wanted to put me in my place, as much as I did him in his. Instead we chose to save that battle for another day. There is after all that big citywide Halloween party coming up at the end of this month. Maybe I'll have a few green apple martini's before I get there. That should just about do the trick.