Martha-vs-Maxine

1st---Martha's Way*
*Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.


Now---Maxine's Way * *
**Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

**Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

*Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

**If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

*Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

**Celery? Never heard of it!

*Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

**The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

*Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

**Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! (works for me)

*If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

*Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. (I REALLY like this one)

*Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

**Leftover wine???????????
HELLO !!!!!!!

**The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

**Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

**Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

**After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

**As usual, if you don't forward this to 10 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?

*********
I'll share details of the weekend as soon as I can put two coherent thoughts together.