Thursday, April 14, 2005

Yo Momma!

A few days ago David posted some great one liners concerning men. He then pondered why women pick on men. I thought I'd share these tidbits just to show him, it's NOT always men who get the brunt of the joke.

Yo Momma is SOOOO Fat...

When she dances she makes the band skip

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave
her 13 years to live

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin


Her butt has its own congressman


Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard


When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts


Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph


Her driver's license says "picture continued on other side"


The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs


All the restaurants in town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy:
240 patrons or Yo mama"


When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton


When she gets in an elevator, it has no choice but to go down


She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth


She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her


I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side


They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side
to get her through


Her nickname is "daaamn!!"


She has to iron her pants on the driveway


She's on both sides of the family


When I yell "Kool-aid," she comes crashing through the wall


She could sell shade

When she crosses the street, cars look out for her

People jog around her for exercise

She gets runs in her jeans


Her blood type is Ragu


When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an
estimate


If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!


She has to put her belt on with a boomerang

When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party

She can't even jump to a conclusion


She went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters


She was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of
gas


and of course......

yo momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t- shirt,
helicopters land on her back.
~~~~~~


[disclaimer: if your fat and you find this offensive, blame Delftsman3 , it was on his blog that I found this.]

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