Thursday, April 14, 2005

Yo Momma!

A few days ago David posted some great one liners concerning men. He then pondered why women pick on men. I thought I'd share these tidbits just to show him, it's NOT always men who get the brunt of the joke.

Yo Momma is SOOOO Fat...

When she dances she makes the band skip

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave
her 13 years to live

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin

Her butt has its own congressman

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts

Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph

Her driver's license says "picture continued on other side"

The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

All the restaurants in town have signs that say "Maximum Occupancy:
240 patrons or Yo mama"

When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton

When she gets in an elevator, it has no choice but to go down

She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth

She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her

I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side

They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side
to get her through

Her nickname is "daaamn!!"

She has to iron her pants on the driveway

She's on both sides of the family

When I yell "Kool-aid," she comes crashing through the wall

She could sell shade

When she crosses the street, cars look out for her

People jog around her for exercise

She gets runs in her jeans

Her blood type is Ragu

When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an

If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

She has to put her belt on with a boomerang

When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party

She can't even jump to a conclusion

She went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters

She was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her, and ran out of

and of course......

yo momma is so fat that when she wears her Malcolm X t- shirt,
helicopters land on her back.

[disclaimer: if your fat and you find this offensive, blame Delftsman3 , it was on his blog that I found this.]


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