Thursday, March 10, 2005

If It's Thursday This Must Be Podunt

Funerals suck. How people can go from weeping and wailing one minute to smiling and cracking jokes the next is beyond me. I guess when I get in a mood I tend to stay there. At least for while anyway. This predilection put me at odds with the majority of folks attending my brother-in-laws funeral and wake. There were so many people, so many faces. So many I had no recognition of. Clearly he was a man who touched many lives. He was a very GOOD man. Of that there is no doubt. If your a Christian , then you know they are having one heck of a big celebration in heaven this week, for one of God's loyal soldiers has returned home.

I am tired. I mean bone-weary, dead in my tracks tired. I did get a bit of sleep last night but it was not of the restful variety. I kept having these crazy dreams of being in a casket, seeing people walk by me, weeping, and wailing. All the time I was sreaming out to them, "I'm not DEAD!" "Can't you see, I'm alive?" Then would come that inevitable time when they'd close the lid and I'd try to stop them but my arms and legs wouldn't work. I could feel the coffin being moved around and hear people talking but I couldn't make them hear me. This people is why nightmares are called nightmares! It is also why I will NOT be one of those being buried. My family has very strict insturctions. I am to be cremated and my ashes scattered along the beaches of the Emerald Coast. Yes, I know that is illegal, but my children are resourseful, they'll figure out a way! Anyway(ooh Piggy's favorite word), as you can see there was no rest for this weary soul.

Now, I have one day to rest up before Zach arrives for the weekend. I do so love that child, but mercy me he is a handful . I don't know how Brenda does it. If I had to raise and care for a child at this point on my life, they'd be spreading those aforementioned ashes a lot sooner rather than later. In a perfect world there are simply somethings a woman shouldn't have to do after the age of 45. Of course no one promised me a perfect world did they? Then there's the possibility/probability that I'm a whuss. Not that anyone is going to actually tell me that. Right?


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