Monday, February 14, 2005


Ahhh Valentine's Day. Women love it, men hate it. The poor guys almost never seem to get it right. If they remember it at all, they rush out and pick up flowers and candy. Or even worse they get some sexy piece of lingerie. Which only pleases them and not the intended lady. What's a fella to do? As a woman I should know the answer to that one. But, as a woman I know the answer is as varried as the women involved. You can't please them all with any one thing.
On this day that's all about love, I'd like to share some of the things I have learned over the years. About love that is.
No matter what people say, love is not a game. There aren't innings and you don't win this one and lose that one. In matters of the heart, losing is too painful for everyone concerned. Don't treat it like it is. If you do, sooner or later, you will lose for good. End of game.
Marriage is hard work. Anyone who says it isn't, is either lying to you or to themselves. You can't have it your way all the time. Maybe not even half the time. It's a constant negotiation. If you get hurt you can't run away and pout. You have to stay, face it, and work to make it work out.
Everyone has their limits. But, if you're not going to get out of the marriage, then give it all you've got to make it the best marriage you can have. Don't hold your pain inside until it destroys your ability to love. It's never too late to try one more time. Well, as long as your both alive and living in the same house.
Don't let your kids use the divide and conquer strategy on you. They learn this early on, and hone their skills at it as the years go by. By the time their teens their usually masters at it.
Kids and money can tear a marriage apart quicker than an affair. The two combined can be almost insurmountable. This I know.
A man can cheat on his wife and still love her. The same is true of a woman. Sometimes an affair is just about sex. When he/she says, "it meant nothing to me they honestly mean it. If you really, truely, madly, deeply love him/her, you have to find a way to forgive, forget and move on.
Over the years love changes. Passion may turn to companionship. Still it endures. I can remember as a young girl thinking I'd never have a marriage like my parents. Guess what. I do. Maybe that's not so bad. Maybe there would be less divorce if we all realized, over the years love changes. It can't be the honeymoon years forever(unless your Elizabeth Taylor). There is something to be said for being comfortable in a relationship. Kind of like that old pair of slippers you'd never throw away. Because they fit your feet so perfectly. On a cold winters night, those old slippers are just what you need.
Don't take what I say too seriously. After all who am I to give advice?
But on the outside chance that I'm just a little bit right, why not reach across the bed, room, house, town, or whatever and give him or her a kiss. Who knows where it might lead?
With the possible exception of those who have ES's, estranged spouses, (who DO NOT live in the same house with you). Kissing them might not be a great idea. You could get slapped, maybe even with a restraining order.
Happy Valentines Day ya'll.
If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with!!

update: Sorry, I just couldn't deal with that blogskin any longer. Ya'll know how I am, I need chhhanges. My blogskins are like my undies. Even my favorites have to be changed, and OFTEN!!!


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