Friday, November 19, 2004


It's been a strange week. I've been worried a lot about some things over which I have no control. I know it's a waste of time to worry, yet I can't seem to stop myself. I'm not a nail biter, but I do let things get to me. I suppose you could say that I'm overly sensitive. You would think that by now I'd have toughened up a bit. After all I'm no spring chicken. I guess some folks just never learn.

I've been having problems with Amanda again. She's pissed with me over some made up in her head crap and is keeping Zachary from coming to visit. I'd like to beat the crap out of her, but somehow I don't think visiting me in jail would be very productive for Zach either. Of course I miss him and I know he misses me, but we are both at the mercy of his crazy freaking mother. I know what his life must be like, living with her every day, but there is nothing I can do about it. At least not right now. But one day, he will be old enough to decide who he wants to live with and when that day comes, he'll be mine. Until then I will just have to endure the pain, and aggrivation she puts us through. I will survive. Hopefully so will Zachary, with as little mental,emotional and physical damage as possible.

On the other hand, my relationship with Kasey has gotten much better. We have both been working hard on getting over the past and building a better relationship. She's gotten much more responsible and I've learned to keep my mouth shut whenever possible. I am learning to respect her as an adult. She is learning that no matter how old she is I am still her Mother. We may make it yet.

I keep reminding myself, my problems are so small when compared with those of others. In many ways I am fortunate. I need to count my blessings and be thankful for them.
Give me time Lord, I'm working on it.
Here's wishing ya'll a pleasant and restful weekend.


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10:02 PM  

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