Friday, November 26, 2004

Black Friday

In years past today has traditionally been thought of by me as Black Friday , because not only is it the day when masses of people go out and try to get their Christmas shopping done while tearing each other limb from limb just to get as many gifts as possible, and spend ridiculous amounts of money, but it's also been the day when I could feel myself begining that spiraling descent into my seasonal depression. The Christmas season has long been an extremely difficult time for me. Last year was probably the first time in 20 or more years that I did not feel like I wanted to crawl in a hole and pull the hole in behind me. I know full well that I owe that to the wonderful people I have come to know and love through blogging. Through them I came to realize I was not alone in my dread and distaste for the so called happiest time of the year . There are many reasons whey this time may not be the happiest time for someone. In fact it might be the worst time of year. There are those who are unemployed and broke. Then there are those who have lost loved ones and don't know how they will be able to bear facing the holidays without them. There are those who's marriages have broken up, who's children have wandered away from home and are seldom heard from. Just to name a few. Not everyone is filled with excitement and anticpation as the cold of December comes knocking at our doors. Yet everywhere we go there's that music and those lights, and all that cheer (yuck). Yes, it can almost be a nightmare. As I'm sure you know, the Christmas season has the highest suicide rate of the year.
When I was awakend this morning by nature's call, my first instinct was to crawl deeper under the coves, grrrrrrr Black Friday had arrived. It wasn't long until I realized that hiding under the covers until January arrived, was not an option. Besides the fact that one can only hold back the call of nature for just so long, I had blogging to do. Getting through my ever growing blogroll takes me longer and longer these days. There are so many wonderful blogs to read. I knew I'd best get started if I wanted to have any time left over for pesky things like eating, cleaning, and such (like peeing). For today my depression would have to take a back seat. So, maybe that's how it will be. Each day, I'll push back that sinking, I wanna stay in bed and cover my head , feeling. At least until I can get through my blog roll. One day (blog) at a time.

ps: Some of you may have noticed (or not) that I don't always comment when I visit. Please don't think that I'm not dropping by, it's just that I figure by the time you read 20 or more comments you aren't really going to remember exactly who said what or why. There only a few blogs on my blogroll that I don't visit every single day. I'm there, lurking in the background, reading, just not talking, and believe me, for me that's an accomplishment (the not talking part).


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