Wednesday, May 26, 2004


No, I don't mean Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, Ross, and Phoebe.
Although it would be nice to have real life friends like that wouldn't it? Actually I do have a couple friends that I have known for over 10 years. Sometimes we go for days without talking, but when we do it's like we just talked 5 minutes earlier. I trust them completely.
I've also had friends that were more of the Soprano's variety. People who would laugh and smile with you, be so sweet, you could almost call them a doughnut. But would stab you in the back without so much as a flinch of guilt or shame. A doughnut might be a good way to describe them. Because while on the outside they might be sugary and sweet, in the middle, deep down where it counts, there's a hole. Somethings missing.
Do you know that feeling when you begin to realize that someone isn't at all what you thought they were? That sense of sadness, that feeling of knowing that you've been duped? That feeling that someone you allowed yourself to like, to almost trust,has been playing you for a fool? Sucks huh?
I used to let people like that get to me. I'd spend countless hours wondering "why"? What was the point? If he/she didn't really like me then why the games? Why pretend? Why not just walk away, no drama, just walk away?
Finally I came to realize that the fault was not mine. Everyone has known people like that. Everybody's played the fool. Theres no sense in whining and moping around about it. Just get over it and move on. It's not your fault.
The fault lies within the person who for whatever reason needs to play with other peoples minds. Something deep inside them drives them to be so devious, so dishonest. So cowardly. Of course they never see themselves that way. They think their clever. They may even fool themselves into thinking they are being kind. They're not.
As most of you know, I've been having a bit of a difference of opinion with Don lately. More on his part than mine, because however I might feel about his opinions, I respect his right to have them and to voice them. I got an email from him that started out with "I know you hate me, but...". Your wrong Don, I don't hate you. Yes, in the begining I was angry that you chose to trash me for all the world to see, but then I realized, if I'm going to put my thoughts and opinions out there for all the world to see, then I damn well better be ready to take the heat when someone disagrees with me. Either stand up and stand behind what you say, or don't say it. That is the price you pay for freedom of speech.
In fact not only do I not hate him, I grudingly admire him. At least he is honest and upfront about what he thinks. He doesn't play games and he doesn't pull any punches. You know where you stand with Don. He may be an ass, but he's no backstabber. He has only one face and he shows it to the whole world. Regardless of what I think of his politics, I can't help but admire his willingness to say, this is what I think. If you like it fine, if you don't then just go the hell away!!!
I also think if you are Don's friend, and he comes along and someones kicking the hell out of you, he would jump right in and fight like a dog to defend you. Even if he ended up getting his own butt kicked. That's just the kind of guy he is.
Don't get me wrong, this is not some kind of extending of the peace pipe on my part. I didn't pick this fight, it's not mine to end. No, Don and I will never be buddies. We are way too much alike. Stubborn as hell and 100% convinced we know what's right and what's wrong. Besides, Don is a bit of a bully. I can't abide bullies. (I'm sure everybody knows what he thinks of me). One thing is for certain, though, we both know where the other stands.
Neither of us could be called a doughnut.
Which considering that one of my brothers is State Trooper, the other is policeman in a small Florida town, my son will be leaving in September for the Police Acadamy, and my neighbor is the Chief of Police here in Podunt, is a good thing for me. You don't want to be a doughnut around that many cops!


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