Saturday, January 24, 2004

ALONE, doesn't always mean LONELY

Why are young women so intense about having a man in their life? My daughter and her significant other broke up this past week. For at least the 100th time in the past five years. After listening to her for the last two days, I have come to realize she is not nearly as upset about the 'breaking up' as she is about 'never having anybody to be with'. I see this from other young women in the blogs I read. I don't see this in guys. Guys break up, they hang out with their buddies, they go to bars get drunk, they go fishing, but they don't sit around worrying about 'not having somebody'. Women sit around and mope about being alone.
Wake up ladies! Not being in a relationship doesn't mean you are alone, or that you have to be lonely. If my marriage ended today, finding another man/companion would be the LAST thing on my mind. I'd be thinking about all the things I could do, the places I could go, the money I could spend (even if there wasn't much of it) without having to justify, or explain it to anybody. I could eat at midnight , I could sleep until noon, I'd have only MY clothes, MY dishes, MY things to worry about. I could have hours of uninterupted HUP time. I could go to bed when I want, get up when I want. Eat peaches standing over the sink, have pizza 5 nights in a row if I wanted. I could be ME!!!!! My GAWD, the freedom! A woman can be happy without a man in her life. Trust me. She can share her life with her family, her children, her friends, she DOES NOT have to have a man.
I think this is why there are so many bad marriages and so many divorces. Women are so caught up in this "I need a man" mindset that they will settle for a lot less than perfect. In fact many times the guy isn't even close. They have no idea what they really want or need in or from a man, they just gotta have one. Anyone. Even the wrong one.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love men. In fact for the most part I prefer the company of men to that of women. Men complain less, and they know how to have fun. They know how to drain every ounce out of a day and go home exhausted and content. They aren't worried about being 'happy' or sharing their life, they're just living life, day to day, whatever comes their way. They know they're sloppy messy creatures and they don't care. Yes, by far men are more fun than women.
Why would anyone want to be around a whiney, mopey, insecure, woman? Even I don't want to be around them. Which I think makes me the odd woman out, because women tend to love the company of other miserable women.
Of course there are exceptions. You have women like me, and you have guys who do stress out over being alone. Oddly enough, these people have a way of ending up together. Go figure. Life is damned strange.
I have just one piece of advice for the "I NEED a man to share my life with" ladies. Get a life!!!! Maybe along the way to finding happiness within yourself, you'll come across Mr Right. Being needy and whiney is not attractive. Being happy with yourself, smiling and optimist is. Even if the 'right one' never appears, being single doesn't mean you have to be lonely.

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