The Queen of Denial
"What was your greatest accomplishment in the past year?" This was one of the questions in Brenda's blog today. As I sat there reflecting back over the past year I couldn't think of a single thing that I had accomplished that I would consider 'great'.
Last year I made myself a New Years resolution that this would be the year that I would get both of my adult children (one is 20 the other 24) out of the house, living own their own. For the first 3 months of 2003 that actually happened. Robby went to Oklahoma to work and Kasey and Clint (her signifcant other) had a place of their own. My success while short lived, was greatly enjoyed. When Robert took his monthly trips to Eufaula, I found my self delightfully alone. LOTS of happy underpant time was indulged in. The peace and quiet was amazing. My grocery bill was almost non-existant. Ahh those were the days. It all came to an end when in April Robby returned home. Oklahoma it seems was not his calling. Personally I think he just missed his Mama. Whatever the reason, he was back. Within a month Kasey was standing at my door, with all her worldly possessions. For reasons I won't go into here, she was in need of a port in the storm. Her little ship of horrors was docked at the old home port. Since then there have been sporadic periods where she stayed three or four weeks with other people but this has been her primary residence. Once again I have two young, healthy adults living in my house. Doing pretty much what they damned well please. No one pays rent, or contributes toward living expenses. Let the free ride begin. Now this wouldn't be so bad, if my house and yard were kept spotlessly clean, laundry done, and meals prepared by the aforementioned individuals. Yeah, right, dream on. Clearly the only fool here is ME. I have come to the conclusion that the only way Robert and I are ever going to become a middle-aged couple living by ourselves, is if WE run away from home.
So, once again this year I am faced with the same problem I had last year. I am at a loss as to what the solution is. I KNOW what I should do. Doing it is another thing entirely. I cannot turn these two away when they have no where else to go. Realistically, Robby would have no problem finding his own place. He has many friends who would be glad to share an apartment or house with him if he so desired. I will admit that I have not really 'pushed' him to leave. He is easy to live with. He works at night and sleeps during the day. He did this past week agree that until he leaves he will be paying 'rent'. That is a step forward. Kasey is another story all together. Living with her is a borderline nightmare. Even when she is in a good mood, one has to walk around her on tiptoes. On her bad days, it's best to just crawl in a hole and pull the hole in behind you. Yet, what does a Mother do when her child has nowhere else to go? Am I the master enabler or what?
I'm not asking for sympathy. I am just wondering what can I possibly do different, this year?